In the past few weeks, everything and nothing has changed.
Just over six weeks ago, my guidance whispered to me: “Step back from the business and rest.” It came while I was in the middle of hosting an energy upgrade and activation via live webinar for 100+ people. What an activation I received!
After a decade of living from this place of guidance, I knew I had to act. Unsure of what was about to unfold, I cleared the decks of any additional work commitments, and just allowed myself to be for a few weeks.
This hasn’t been a glorified self-care practice. I didn’t actively fill my days with massages and baths (although, there were certainly days they featured). I didn’t specifically create the space to dive into any particular healing practices or modalities; there was no mental input into how this needed to be.
I just gave myself permission to stop (when really, my mind had many reasons why I shouldn’t and indeed what I should be doing with my time instead).
Instead, I showed up to my everyday life and felt it. I gave myself time and space to feel all the things I hadn’t been able to truly feel and understand in the weeks and months prior. I created space for the very energy activation I’d just channeled to work its way through my body and being.
I put work on a slow simmer but still turned up for the commitments I made to my clients. I still turned up for my daughters and my husband. I still turned up for the stuff of our everyday, suburban life – the bills, the mess and the hints of things now out of alignment. Suffice to say, this wasn’t the kind of self-care of indulgence and escapism, but the kind of self-care that said stop and pay attention to your life, even if you don’t like what you see (actually, especially then).
The first two weeks I grieved. I grieved for the past, for dreams unfulfilled and for the futures that never came to be presents. After years (and ongoing dialogue with my guides) I could see that these tears, hurt and pain were just old, accumulated gunk making its way out of my system. But it was awful, day after day, just feeling it all.
Slowly, eventually, the tide began to turn. New dreams and new futures are now sprouting, not all that dissimilar to the dreams I seeded in the past, but more refined and clarified.
As I write, my guides draw me to my notion that this would be resolved by the end of June. Here I am, in mid-July, still being told to rest, to simplify. There’s no immediate rush or pull to go back to how things were but to instead allow more time and space for these new dreams to bloom.
Of course, this is rather inconvenient to my ego and its ideas and plans for my business and life.
But this is how living from guidance works, right? I can’t make my guidance fit what my ego needs – instead, I’m being asked to trust that I will be taken care of as I slow down to follow each next step that’s given to me.
It’s been a long time since my guidance has come in this slowly. I know this is part of the design.
In fact, it’s so much a part of the design that I’ve been told to share more of my journey with it. Not the “formula”, or the prescribed steps, or even how to connect to the guidance (all of that I share already in my Guided Living program) but instead, to share what unfolds and where it leads me, in real time.
So, I intend on sharing this more via the blog (when I can) and also on social media, using #myguidedexperiment.
I’ve also been guided to return to the book and complete it. By Christmas, to be precise. I suspect the #myguidedexperiment will dovetail into the book – but we’ll have to wait and see how that unfolds.
On the work front, I’m guided to create intimate connections with those I can work with. It’s time to move from holding space for large groups of women, online, across all kinds of time and space realities, into working 1:1 and with smaller groups for shorter bursts of time, in person where it’s possible.
This is about focusing my own energy as much as it is about focusing the channels of guidance running through me.
Much of this will continue to unfold, but of course, life has brought me the Transmission Tour with Soul Sister Circle as a great starting off point for this new focus of energy.
But all else is about simplifying — and it feels so darn good so far. I trust my guidance implicitly and am open to whatever is about to come next.